Process

“There isn’t a path; but there is a way”- John Eldridge

It isn’t the spiritual tight-rope journey that Jesus has called us to. That was the way of the Pharisees. However there is a direction, a way, that God is pulling us in. The cosmic “pointing arrow” in which we are always somehow drawing closer to the Father and maturing in our spirits. Always.

God is a God of process. He is in it for the long haul. When He made the oak tree, He started with an acorn. When He wanted a leader, He let Moses practice on literal sheep for decades. When the flood wiped out civilization, He decided to repopulate the world with a handful of people, and a nine month gestation period at a time… then fifteen years of growing up… then we can continue the cycle…

He loves process.

Here’s the problem: Americans love product. When we need to pay for a meal we whip out the visa card, which happens to be attached to an account that we filled up with “direct deposit”. When grandma needs someone to visit, we struggle over the effort because it would mean fifteen minutes of driving to get to her house… fifteen minutes! When we need to tell someone about the new truck that we bought, we send out fifteen instant text messages in a minute and a half flat. A senior pastor might hire a twenty-two year old youth pastor because of his four year degree instead of bringing on the dad of four who has eighteen years of youth experience. Our idea of “trained professional” is someone who went to school for a handful of years.

Some of us are even guilty of eating “instant” cup of noodles.

Efficiency is our game; if it looks like there’s an investment of time in something, our commitment issues start flying to the surface.

But… He loves process.

I am guilty of having a very low value for time oriented growth. I have found myself of being the one who keeps telling God that as soon as I have the most amazing passion for praying, I’ll start to intercede more. Or as soon as He releases the Holy Spirit to open up the Heavens and descend upon me (in plain sight of everyone of course) then I’ll really lay down my life for Him. In fact… as soon as He tells me that from this moment on every person that I pray for will be healed, I will start praying for the sick and dying around me.

So we live our lives in the land of “as soon as”; and we never get around to the next step towards Him.

Sometimes we struggle with guilt over how little of His word we actually have a grasp on, or we are so sorrowed that we cant live up to Jesus’ perfection…

When we dwell on Jesus as a perfect man who was empowered by the Holy Spirit and who was fed off of every word that proceeded from the Father’s mouth, there are two mindsets that are revealed.
1. I can never get it all right, I struggle with hearing the Father’s voice, the power of the Spirit rarely seems to manifest in my life.
2. What an amazing example He showed us! I might not be there yet, but tomorrow is a new day. I’m going to see more Holy Spirit, and Hear more of the Father’s words. Watch out world… because He has gone before me!

He has provided a way, not a tight rope path, but a direction. Holy Spirit loves to take us there. He just knows it will take time. So it’s time… to agree with Him, and to learn to love process.

I desire to be a man after God’s heart; and I desire to be a different man in six months than I am now. I want it to be said of me that I am a masterful learner, and a teachable man. There is a posture that I will take on for the rest of my life; and it will allow me to learn from every day, every person, every breath, every flower, every art piece, and every word out of the mouth of God.

Tomorrow, I wont be Jesus.
In a week, I’ll be closer.
In a month, I’ll be different.
In a year, I’ll be new,
In a decade, I’ll be so much further.
And in a lifetime, I’ll be a novice; not by the worlds standards, but by choice.
Always teachable, always learning.
And all of Heaven and Hell will know my name.

“There isn’t a path; but there is a way.” John Eldridge

I am crying.

Let me issue a warning to those who have stumbled across this post: I intend to write from the deepest core of my person. These thoughts proceed out of the most spiritual, authentic, emotional, intellectual, and soulful parts of me.

Here is my soul's cry -cry being a word intended to evoke the thought of tears and screams, passion and love- to know Him.

Him who is above all, in all, and through all. Him who holds the universe; yet whispers to my most hidden depths. Him who knows everything about me, yet longs to know me.

Know. The Hebrew word for yada. It is intimacy and connection, it is spiritual and sexual, it is external and internal, it is the best word that the Hebrew language can come up with for the connection between a man and a woman who are deeply in love. Children are born out of yada... but we wont follow that rabbit trail for now.

I long to sing to Him and to talk with Him. I want to see every part of Him and to touch each piece of Him. I desire to be invaded by Him and to shine of Him. I feel like dancing for Him and dancing with Him.

He makes me more me than I have ever known. He is my creator, lover, and leader. My king.

He is eternal and He is beginning. He knows no beginning, for He Himself IS beginning. He will never cease.

I want Him. He IS MY DESIRE.

That is my souls deepest cry; and the more I enter into that cry, the closer I am brought to Him, the more I am aware of my

ABSOLUTE HUNGER

for this man named Jesus-the bread of life and the light of men.

Spirit-the power at work in the natural realm.

Father-the one who is in all, above all, and through all.

He is all I want. I will die if I dont have more of Him.

I feel like dying if I cannot know Him more.

Looking in all the Wrong Places

Oh the search for Yaweh
How we ought know
That all our looking
Is but ignoring our soul

We search the stars
And ill scour the seas
But Ill not find Him there
If I've not found Christ in me

He is here 
Only inches deep
Within the hardest 
Shell I've seen

To dismantle the old
Is a task among tasks
Naught but complete surrender
Is what my Lord asks

Take it all King of Glory
Strip flesh bare to bone
If that's what it will take
To finally be at home.

Let my own skin be home,
In it may your love be shown. 

True Disciple

Fear me Satan
For all is well
Though I be not giant
I throw back hell

Know that I seek
And always I find
The purpose of Him
Who limits your time

You see I have found
The key to your defeat
It's the audible sound
Of your enemy

His name is my power
And I am endowed
We will cast you lower
So be not too proud

You see
I am small in faith
But this I know
I have found a path
On which always I grow

He is a hider
So I'll be a seeker
He conceals for me
What makes you weaker

It may be your time 
a little while yet your turn
But fear me Satan 
for I have learned 
To learn

Hope deferred makes the heart sick.

Hope.

That's her name.

She is my new friend, and she is amazing. Gorgeous really.



She is a 1981 Honda Twinstar.

That's right, 200cc of raw power... Aproximently 25% larger engine than my scooter...

"I get seventy miles to the gallon on this hog" but I didn't "trade(d) it straight up for the van"...

Let's go riding together.

Praise Papa por Pancakes

Pancake breakfasts. One to enjoy every week, on Tuesday morning, at the top of a mountain.

I just got down the hill from Hume Lakes infamous "pancake breakfast". It is held at inspiration point (6000ft up on a mountain top), overlooking a very Yosemite-like valley.


Granite peaks, sequoia trees, mountain bees, and dining-hall free.

Now that's the abundant life Jesus was talking about.

In this Christian life... I feel like I'm cheating... I mean... how can you NOT find God in a moment like that?

There is something to the simplicity of paper plates, Krusties flour, a little bit o' water, and a world class, in-the-dirt, mountaintop experience. The first taste of a raspberry syrup covered pancake entered my mouth, and I thought to myself "Jesus do like pancakes?". The second bite changed my perspective: "Jesus! You like pancakes. Thanks a million!"

My hands now smell like coffee, hand sanitizer, pine, and dirt all in one.

Praise Papa por Pancakes.

Sunshine

This is a letter I wrote to my wife this morning; and while praying I felt like God wanted me to share. So after reluctantly fighting against the post:

Sunshine,
To me you are like the breaking of the morning,
the cracking of the dawn,
like the light invades the darkness,
So you bring clarity,
So you bring purity,
So you bring love.

Shalom.

May our covenant be as it should be,
Pure in the sight of God,
May his peace be the strength of our feet,
The weapon we fashion against darkness,

Oh, that He will find righteousness in us!

May the mercy and worship of David permeate our lives,
May the wisdom of Solomon lead our actions,
May the faithfullness of Paul be granted us,
May the victory of Christ set our context.

Grace.

May it abound more in us.

Hope.

Let it be our constant friend.

Love.

Love shall guide us home, each day, to each other,
to the father, to the ends of the earth.

Love.

Kendall Dean

Fin.

Perfection is a difficult mark to take hold of.
Perfect contentment, peace, hope, faith... really God?

"Be anxious for nothing"?
"In all things, with prayer and petition"?

Wow. This is an extreme God.

Wow. This is an all encompassing faith.

Wow. What is going to take to be all in?


Christ in me, the hope of glory. The Spirit of the living God leading my every moment. It takes being yielded completely to the Holy Spirit.

My perspective must change.

Today.

Here it is: To focus my mind on the finished work of Jesus Christ my savior. He is risen indeed! He has overcome the grave! Shout it among the nations, whisper it to your soul, picture it in your mind. Jesus has conquered death! Satan has lost all His authority in heaven on earth because Jesus has been “given all authority in heaven on earth”. End of story. Satan lost. We won. It is FINISHED.

FINISHED.

Don’t [we] dare miss that point.

We fight from victory; not for it.

He has made us a victorious people… you are not a sinner saved by grace… if you know the living Lord, then you are a saint for you were a sinner saved by grace. You were saved and now you became a saint.

The finished work of Calvary should rule my thoughts.

Finished.

We belong.

Camp fire stories.

This falls into that category.

Here we are, the two of us, you and I. Connected via the world wide web. For you this may be a coffee shop browsing, or a home couch lounging, or an office distraction: but for me it's a campfire story.

Blazing in front of me is the four foot flame that I just nurtured into life. Sorry tree. You had to go somehow... the stars are out for the second night. They are little "holes to heaven" if you talk to Jack Johnson, or if you are speaking to Brooke Frasure then they are there "just to show us, we belong.". As for me, they are memories hidden, and futures prepared.

In fact, these sprinkles across the sky are so majestic, so vast, that they seem to set all things back to zero. My future, my past, my friends, my wife, my dreams, my experiences, they all are captured in that moment.

These holes to heaven really do remind me that I belong.

The camp fire blazes and all is settled. All is peace. All is free.

We belong.

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

One word, I want it to define my life.

Hallelujah

The word that sums up creation.

In fact, this word is the purpose of life; not 42, not live long and prosper, not change the world, just hallelujah.

Praise the Lord. Hallelujah.

That's what it means. It means that the king of kings is being lifted up. Hallelujah is what angels and elders are singing in heaven. It is what the mountains are crying out.

All creation is meant for the Lord's praise.

It is my highest calling, it is my highest form of destiny.

I will praise the Lord.

I will put hallelujah on my lips.

You might consider putting it on yours.

Journey.

Day one: Drive
Two: Introduction
Three: Wet work

Those were the "bullet point summaries" for those of you who have ADD and will glance at the blog and then leave...

The drive was epic in one sense only: The gas light.
It definitely came on a few miles before I was to Hume, but here was the problem: I drove past the last turn and wound into a canyon about 25 miles too far! Ended up being more than an hour out of my way...

How did I make it you ask?

Prayed.

Yep.

I wound all the way DOWNHILL... which meant with gas waning... when I turned around... gas-draining travel.

So I put a piece of paper over my gauge and began to tell the Lord that I couldn't make it without him, and that I would rather not have to camp out here in the middle of nowhere that night... with no cell service...

He put what I needed in my tank and I made it back... crazy!

God is awesome.

In other news, but with short time on-hand: Hume is amazing... so absolutely gorgeous, and I am making tons of friends. Great community, great work, great food, great experience...

The only downside is that I miss you guys...

to be cont.

Kendall

Write me at Hume

I want letters from you.

Kendall Bachman, Staff
Hume Lake Christian Camps
64144 Hume Lake Road
Hume, CA 93628-9999

I'll be there In two days... June 3-Aug 22

No cell service... hop on twitter and I can "text" you from my laptop to your phone.

Granite Lake, Trinity Alps, CA

This will be one of those rare "what I've been up to" writings...

I just MUST get out the testimony of my last weekend.

It was worship... pure, unadulterated, unreligousified, worship.

Destination: Granite Lake, Trinity Alps, CA


"As we gathered around the fire, we were reminded of the epic-ness of the day. The flames flickered and burned the scenery of the last eight hours into our minds. Memories that would last forever.

The waterfall roars in the distance, a lonely frog croaks, a small bird chirps goodnight, and smell of steak was saturates our camp. This is the abundant life. The life that Jesus had promised..."

1000 foot granite peaks behind us.

100 foot waterfall in front of us.

1,000,000,000 stars, each known by name.

0 moonlight.

The abundant life.

Worship was almost demanded.

God's awesome.

"Just roll with it"

The ballpoint pen.

What a beautiful picture of how the Kingdom of God transposes itself onto to tablets of earth.

As Christ followers and kingdom-bringers, God never expects us to make anything happen. We just can't do it on our own.

He holds the ink. The Kingdom of God is like the shaft of the pen, it holds all the ink necessary to inscribe truth in our daily circumstances.

but,

instead of spilling the ink (truth) over every area of the world, He has chosen to put a roller ball on the contact point of the pen.

You are the roller ball.

You don't provide the ink. You don't really have to do anything except stay connected to the pen, stay in front of the ink.

As you roll, truth is established on the earth. It leaves a lasting effect.

The fruit of the "roller ball" believer will be exactly what God intended to write, exactly what He meant to say.

"Just roll with it"

a God of process.

Ebbing and flowing, sinking and floating,
who knows what tomorrow sees?

Finding and losing, walking and cruising,
who knows what tomorrow thinks?

Shining and hiding, fleeing and fighting,
who knows how tomorrow seems?

Out of the circle, inside the bubble,
Thank God I'll never arrive,
Thank God that He holds the prize,

Thank God, The God, True God,

That you are a God,
of process.

Trail guides and Perception.

OUR PERCEPTIONS of God's voice are often missing the mark. There is a volume receptor in our brains that is hovering ever so slightly above mute.

Let me restate.

We have this backwards idea of God interactions, and we are so good at perceiving antiGod in our daily lives.

We are so quick to notice evil and so slow to notice God.

We are so quick to see what’s wrong. Do not miss what’s right in the world.

Celebrate what’s right in the world.

I see God yelling, not whispering. He is screaming from the mountain tops, shining through the windows, and sowing seeds everywhere He goes… that, friend, is everywhere by the way.

We just don’t understand the fullness of His glory, and we often pass it by.
The reason: there is an Evil that is covertly distracting us. This evil doesn’t plainly speak “Hey. I’m over here; look at me so I can distract you. I’m distracting you!” The prince of this world has been a deceiver since the beginning of history; the beginning of History.

Distraction is Satan’s largest tool in battling the people of God.

Money, clothes, sex, appearances, cars, houses, sports, video games, movies, art. The normal stuff.

A different reality is proposed. A new normal.

Pay attention.

What about creation? What about the wind and the stars? The sky and the trees? The flowers and the bees? A human face? A puppy face?
These are normal, these are glory, these show off God himself. These represent a master artist. These are normal. God wants to show us his glory, it's all around you. Look! God is not silent. We just aren’t listening for the right voice.

Satan is quiet. He is lurking. He is waiting. He is stealthily distracting. Without being noticed he turns our eyes to lusting, our hearts to greed, our emotions to depression...

and we are lost because we think God is being silent

No.

He's screaming out goodness and glory to you.

Papa gives and gives.
He is good.
He is constant.

In fact, He is the King
of Glory.

God's love never fails.

Watch the sunset tonight. Feel the breeze. Talk to God. Be still. Listen.

In this moment now God will speak to you; but He waits for you to listen.
In this moment now God will reveal Himself; but He waits for you to look.
In this moment now the King of all creation waits for your love.

Your God is
a love addict,
a patient parent,
a best friend,

He is relational, not far off, not distant, but near.
Near. Here. There.

Let us rise up to the massive call on our lives to be amazing, incredible, purpose lead,
trail guides.

You heard correctly. Trail guides.

The apostle Paul directed the already spiritually active towards their “unknown God” idol (Acts 17). He pointed out that this unknown was the King of Kings, the God of all Gods. The men of Athens were merely redirected in their passion for worship.

Let us redirect.
Let us spend our lives pointing out the most beautiful pieces of this world.
“There, do you see that mountain? It’s so majestic, isn’t it? That is the glory of God. That is the art of Jesus.”

Forget the mess. Overwhelm your mind with the art. The love. The majesty.

Let us be eternal trail guides, leading people through the thick; pointing out the glory of God which manifests itself in His creation.

Watch the sunset tonight. Feel the breeze. Talk to God. Be still. Listen.

writing's sake

I decided to just start writing for writing's sake.

I made this decision less than forty five seconds ago and so far it isn't turning out half bad.

I do have dreams to write books in my lifetime and to consistently write poetry and worship songs, so this seems like as good a time as ever.

So here we are. You and I. We are in this moment. Well, actually we are in two moments; I am in my moment (writing to you) and you are in yours (reading what I wrote).

Actually now that I think of it, it's kind of and awkward/ awesome train of thought to consider tenses.

You know tenses.

Like past, present, and future.

You see I am writing to you right now. Present tense.

You will be reading this. That is the future. I'm predicting it now. In fact, I could have predicted that

Hours ago. Which would be past tense.

Past tense will be (future) what your using (present) when you have been considering (a mix of past and present) what you just read (past).

That sentence says it all.

Now that I have successfully wasted two and a half minutes of your life, I leave you with this:

Thank you friend for reading my active practice. It's people like you that keep people like me encouraged enough to spend time trying to get better at communication.

You done did good.

Kendall

Humbry

Humbry is a lifestyle. Humbry is a mindset.

Humbry is rewarding. Humbry is God's heart.


God desires us to live this way: Humble and Hungry.

My earnest heart filled prayer is that I will always be a student of God's heart. I desire his heart, I search it out, and I take a posture to learn from anyone and anything.

That's just it. Posture.

There is a posture (a constant mindset) that keeps us rapidly approaching God's destiny for us.

The destiny that he has predetermined for us will only happen through our choice to take hold of it.

Our choice is to walk the straight and narrow... or to not.

I want the straight and narrow. I want the glorious life that he predetermined for me if I so choose it.

So I will live Humbry.

Humble: I am always a student; I have never arrived.

I never want to be the expert on God. Rather, I just want to be and I'll let God be the expert.

Hungry: I always want more; I will never be satisfied completely with what I already have because I know He desires to give me more. Seek and I shall find. Ask and I shall receive. Knock and the door will be opened.

Seek. Hunger. Thirst. Drink. Eat. Find.

Repeat.

This is the Humbry lifestyle. I will live it at nineteen and at ninety nine.

Humbry.

Strong and Courageous

This cup caught my attention two days ago.

I was in LAX airport (Los Angeles, CA) and had just finished the cup. I was headed home from one of the most influential weeks I have ever had. Mexico City changed my life.

As you, my friends, hears the stories of God's movement on my trip, I hope that it inspires courage in you. It would be very easy to be dissatisfied with your own daily life when you hear the miraculous stories, but that is not God's heart.

He is a God of process. He doesn't value what you do or what you have done; rather he values you for who you are. Who Christ says you are.

I have no lack of miracle testimonies and stories of salvations from the past week. Ask me about it and "be strong and courageous" mighty warrior.

Love you guys,

Kendall

Loving Head to Foot

We love. The question for the Jesus following Christian is not on our mandate, it’s the delivery. Today we hear more and more about new and creative ways to show Christ’s love to the people and communities around us. That is just the focus that is coming to action in our city. Creative love.

Erase the Dark was a community-wide gathering earlier this month, drawing in an array of people. The churched and the unchurched, the artists and the connoisseurs, the young and old, many different groups all with one goal in mind: to show a practical love to those around us. Cypress Elementary school was the target of this specific love driven fundraiser. An effort was put forth to find a way to bless this school in the midst of California budget cuts. The teachers may not be the ones doing most of the receiving but they can’t help but smile as the students that they pour their lives into are getting presents.

A need was identified, and a means was found. The kid’s needed simple things: backpacks, shoes, pencils and paper. Most of them have not been used to these being in constant supply. Last year Erase the Dark (a community art festival and auction) raised enough money to buy every single student at cypress a brand new backpack. The backpacks were filled with school supplies and taken to the kids in the classroom personally. The smiles were wide spread, and the kid’s laughed and played with their new gear.

This year the bar had been set and the intention going into the art festival was to buy every kid a new pair of shoes, and the school supplies will be delivered individually to teachers for them to do as they see fit. As the event approached (a Friday night of music, art, and h’or dourves) sponsors throughout the businesses of Redding decided to pitch in. The funds they donated completely covered the cost of putting on the event so that every penny of the 7,000 dollars raised on Friday, March 6th was able to be poured into the School. Over 250 brand new pairs of shoes are to arrive soon and taken to the kids, and some extras will find their way into the classrooms as well.

The event was simple: artists donated paintings and photography, artists played original live music, artists put together fancy finger food, and artists created short films. Many churches were represented in the purchasing and donating of the art, and the pieces were sold in a “silent auction” style as they were put up for display.

The partnering of this Annual event and Cypress Elementary is just one of the ways that we are seeing the kingdom of God transform the “four walls” of the church into “four directions” of love.

This is about the people of God showing a separated world His nature. Love.

We love.

Kendall

The Abundance

Here's a few questions of the rhetoric kind:

Do you ever have a day that is without explanation just good?

Do you ever have a feeling of such peace, simplicity, and clarity, and you have no idea why today is different?

My circumstances are not exceedingly different, or somehow greater than other days, yet tonight is filled with a fresh breath. There is clarity in my house.

"It's [not] tired in here." (Inside joke...)

I just watched a movie with a friend.

Then when he left:
I cleaned every room of the house that I use, then I put in a new load of laundry, then I hung shirts, then I folded socks, then I read an old journal, and a couple old letters, organized my desks (yes I have two), loaded some software on my computer, took out trash, organized a chess set, packed up a closet...

I did all that very slowly. I just hung out with God.

I don't really have a sufficient description of how I feel right now but...

I'm convinced that nights like tonight are the life that Jesus came to offer us... the abundant life.

Life to the fullest.

My life tonight is very simple.

Yet,

It's life to the fullest.

Goodnight.

Simply Beautiful.

Life is so incredible. It can be so simple too.

I need to praise God right now for my life. It's welling up inside me, I can't contain the praises of his nature and character.

I want to pray like David. 85% Praise 12% request 4% lament.

Okay, well I could do without the lamenting part. (and if youre a perceptive person, that adds up to 101%...)

I have too many blessings to count and I have an infinite capability to bring glory to the King of Kings.

You are awesome Papa. Your mercy is my strength. You're grace is my power. You are intimacy.

Draw closer to me Friend. Come and visit. Come with your abounding presence.

I love You,

Kendalldean

Shabbat.

Shabbat is the Hebrew word for sabbath (The "H" letter just likes to bounce around and suddenly you're speaking ancient Hebrew...).

My Sabbath is always Tuesday.

But there is a tension.

Sabbath comes from an old testament law that the Jewish people observed (They got it from God's "seventh day" and it was created for rest). Every seventh day, the Jewish people had over a hundred individual laws that they could not break just for this day alone.

It would almost have taken more effort to keep the Sabbath in all it's fullness than to live a day of work. The rest that it was designed for was manipulated into a religious mindset.

But there is a tension.

We are no longer under the law, but the Law was the heart of God before our redemption was made complete.

My heart is to take a Holy day, a day set apart from the rest, intended for rest... A day that is dedicated to God.

That day is today. Tuesday for me.

In an effort to find the divine tension between living a Holy day of rest, and yet not to make it a religious practice, I have boiled myself down a short definition (yet it is subject to change):

On Tuesday, Kendall doesn't do anything that he must do, and everything he does is done out of choosing God first.

That is a shabbat to me. Today I rest. Today I set apart. Today I praise the King of Glory. Today I do only what is optional. Today I do nothing that I have to do.

Shabbat.

Cyper spayed.

I just deleted my myspace account of four years... I'm loving it.

I was getting nothing out of it and there were too many "you need a girlfriend" dating ads...

I could give you a hundred other reasons why I'm done with it but, none of them would change your life or spread the gospel of the Kingdom of God.

Now raising the dead and cleansing the lepers... that's a different story.

all healed up.

I've been very sick.

Seriously. No fun. My aching body!

So let me spare you some time and give you a bullet point summary.

*Sore throat, runny nose, headaches, body aches, no energy, fever, chills, and more.

*Prophetic word from yesterday "Pain comes in the night, but joy comes in the morning"

*Prophetic word from yesterday "an acquaintance will give you an unexpected gift"

*Worked at 4am this morning. Not fun.

*On a break, an old acquaintance prayed for me.

*Back to work: No runny nose, no aches, tons of energy, body temp is normal...

*Healed!

Done.

Senses.

It's common sense.

We all have a sense to be valued.

We all have a sense to be loved.

We all have a sense to be respected.

We all have dreams.

I am learning what it means to have a vision larger than myself, a dream bigger than I can accomplish alone, and a love for those around me that's not focused on what is in me.

These things keep me ticking.

They are the parts of me that I am cultivating with God.

He is my strength.

He is my shield.

He is my victory.

He is my Dad, my Friend, my Lover.

He is my purpose, my vision, my dream.

He is my duracell battery.

Yet,

Yet he has placed us in relationship for a reason.

Yet he has given us family.

Yet he has given us choice.

He has well equipped us, he has well encouraged us, and he has well named us.

The Name that I carry is the Name above all names.

His name is my inheritance. He is my family, and a name carries identity.

Christ is my identity.

That is my choice, my gift, and my Inheritance.

What identity did you choose to live by today? God says one thing about you and the world says another. Which one I agree with determines which one I live under.

Our choice is more powerful than I have yet come to realize.

Worth it?

It is one of those days...

One of the days where I think to myself, was it worth it last night?

One of those days where my eyelids feel like dropping and my teeth still taste like stale cigar and earl gray tea...

One of those days where my stomach rumbles consistently...

One of those days where I watched a sunrise, a sunset, and a sunrise before my eyes closed their lids...

Board games for half a day... straight...

Beautiful sunrise, beautiful people, the most loyal of friends, cigars at 6:30am, homework in between games, pancakes that look more like mangled biscuits, ping pong in the early hours, these are a few of my favorite things.

Catan Church

Tonight at the stirring Nate brought home my favorite subject: Unity in the church. Honoring other Churches.

Afterward we took spirituality to a new level via our new "Church planters of Catan" board game craze.

Basically we play Settlers of Catan and talk about church planting.

"I'm trading two sheep for one wheat... I've got wood too..."

A great game.

God gets glory when Christian men unite in Settlers...

Thank you.

Thank you so much friend.
Thanks for being the person you are.
Thanks for being the encouragement I needed.
For being fun, funny, and functional!
Thanks for teaching me organization.

I have learned how to love deeper.
I have learned better time management.
I have learned how to die to self.
I have learned to set my self up for success.

I have loved unconditionally.
I still love you.
I see so much of God in your life.
I love your heart.
Such a pure heart.
An empowering heart.

The dreams. Oh your dreams!
I love your dreams, I hope to see you step into the largest ones.
You taught me how to dream bigger.
You taught me how to accomplish more.

You were proud of me.
You think the world of me still.
You talk highly of me with your friends.
Thank you so much.

You trusted me with the deepest things.
You trusted me with the scariest.
You trusted me to stay steady.
You trusted me to keep us pure.

Thanks for our purity.
Thanks for the stories I will have all my life.
I loved you.

Thanks for putting God first above all.
Our Papa. Thanks for showing me more of Papa's heart.
Sara Jean Ferguson. You have shown me Papa's heart in a greater way.
I could never repay you. I could never return what you gave me.

Thanks for believing in me, and for pushing me to a higher standard.
Thanks for putting God first above all.
Thanks for listening to his voice. Thanks for obeying.

Thanks for simply being a friend,
Sara Jean Ferguson, you have been a best friend,
You have been the person I have loved most.

Here We part from our love. With naught but good memories.
I will be a friend for the rest of my life.
And I know you'll be one of the most loyal friends of mine.

Thanks for considering me for marriage.
We both have great lives ahead of us, full of the kingdom.
We both have another person to love out there, they both will be incredible.
It's hard to imagine, so for now, I won't.
Someday though we can go on double dates together!

Thanks for the last three months Sara Jean Ferguson,
I hold you to the highest esteem,

Love,

Kendall dean.

Good morrow.

As the sun hits horizon my,
feet hit the ground i,
hear birds singing their,
cheerful sound my,
puppy licks good morning her,
breath needs attention we,
need our first meal the,
cars go to work they,
blow exhaust in air it,
breezes through trees which,
shake off midnight freeze i,
hear birds singing their,
cheerful song it's,
a cheerful one we,
agree, it is,
a good morrow.