A Bride unmarried.

Jesus is the example, he is the prize. We call on all disciples chasing after Jesus’ heart. We call on every man, woman, and child that understands Jesus to be the Christ; he was, is, and always will be our messiah. We shout to communities and churches that are like minded in their pursuit of a Godly lifestyle. I call on the church, the bride, the body. I call on myself, my friends, and you. We are a people that can’t boast of anything but the grace of God. Under his grace we are equal. He sees you with the same love that I am known. He thinks the world of you. He thinks the world of me.

So I think the world of you. Do you feel the same?

What if I told you I loved Jesus? Does that make you love me more? It’s possible.

What if I told you that I thought Jesus was the way, the truth, and the life?
Then I told you I also thought that the big bang started creation, Jesus was a married man, and we have three Gods- Father, Son, and Spirit.
“In fact,” I continue telling you “All roads lead to heaven if you obey the commandments that God gives in the bible.”

Now what happened inside of you?

What was it that happened to your core? Did you want to correct my theology? Did you want to tell me the truth that you have found? Did you want to argue your opinion? Maybe you just got a little tense and started to have compassion on me. Maybe you started praying that God would reveal his true heart to me.

We are all equal under God. Christ paid the price. That is fact. That we agree on.

Or do you tend to focus on what we don’t agree on? When we meet on the sidewalk, at the coffee shop, or in the market, and I start telling you about my interpretations of scripture, why is it that you feel responsible to guide my thoughts until they look like yours?

We are all saved by grace, it is not of ourselves. Why do I want to “play God” when you disagree with me; in which case I will begin to tell you the “real” truth about Christ and God. Or at least think it.

And if we can’t agree, then we better just live separately, cheer each other on (publicly, from a distance), and huddle around some people who make us feel good because they agree with us.

I mean, that’s what Jesus would do… isn’t it?

I want to propose some conditions of the church that have scary ramifications.

The church is not unified. (who would have guessed?)
The Bride is dismembered. (Jesus won’t come back to an ugly Bride.)
We have let the religious spirit become powerful again. (Jesus’ murderer was a religious spirit)
Our (my) love has been defeated by our (my) pride.

I am sorry. I repent. Will you forgive me? God already has, will you?

I want you to know something.

I love you- the way that God sees you is the way I choose to. Unconditionally.
I value you- you carry the image of the Lord of all creation, I can learn from you, you are valuable.
I like you- God is in a good mood, not only does he love you, but he enjoys you, and so do I.
I respect you- you were created in the same way as I was, God sees you in the same light as me.
I need you- we were created to live in relationship, you have pieces of God that I need.

This is a call to unity, a lifestyle of love and humility, a movement based in God’s love and Jesus’ payment.
I am calling on all Christ followers, all Jesus’ loving communities, and all disciples of the one messiah.

The call is to love like Jesus.
The call is to live out discipleship.
The call is to draw together after thousands of years of warring.
The call is to become so lovely in our unity that the husband will be drawn to come for his Bride.

We are becoming beautiful, but the feet cannot do it without the legs, and the eye cannot do it without the mouth, I cannot do it without you, you cannot do it without me.

Typically random.

Typically I am random.

So this is just another adventure in the life of Kendall Dean.

As we speak, I'm sitting in a small "ma' and pop" coffee shop in a city called Lathrop. It's about four hours south of Redding, and the very sketchy plan is to visit Yosemite... soon. (Yosemite National Park is about two hours East of here). As I sit here, I try to think ahead and plan my next move.

It's four o'clock and I can go to Yosemite now, and I would sleep in my car.

I could go an hour West and stay in oakland with my friends Amanda and Hendrick.

I can read and write here until I need to find a parking lot to sleep in.

I could meet friends from Sacramento.

We've got options.

We have very few constraints. God is good, and that will not change.

I actually am responding to God on this trip by simply going. About a week and a half ago, he told me to go.

For this reason, there is great expectation for the quest.

I brought my Guitar, Journal, Laptop, and Bible. Tools for inspiration, tools for living the life that I am called to.

I may climb a snowy mountain, I may enjoy a camp fire, I may read a new book, I may drink twenty lattes, I may go to the ocean, I may skip rocks in a river, I may design a swing set, I may thrift store shop in San Fran.

One thing I do know,

I will simply enjoy my Papa, my God.

Simple.

Prices are Valuable

Prices are valuable.

Think about that for a second.

Prices give us a value system for all the things that we come across in our lives.

My guitar was a thousand bucks, my car was fifteen hundred.

My wallet, which holds usually under ten dollars, cost more than ten dollars.

A value system.

Let me tell you about how valuable I am. I am valuable enough that the God of the universe, God of all glory, the God of all power, all knowledge, and a God who IS love itself, wants to know me personally.

We converse.

I talk to Him, He responds, it's beautiful. In fact I just asked Him what He wants to say to you.

He said to tell the Men that they are AWESOME.

He said to tell the Women that they are BEAUTIFUL.

The price that the King of Glory paid for me was death, torture, and slander. It was dehumanizing and definitely not a death that I would say was God-worthy.

The price that forgiving my sin cost him reveals my value.

That's how valuable you are (in the present tense) to Him.

I can keep on ignoring Him and He will love me the same.

You can choose to thank Him, talk to Him, love Him, and live with and for Him.

He will love you the same.

But just between you and me, He might really like the attention.

Livelihood

Somewhere in the tropics of South America, Africa, and Asia Pacific there are men and women working hard for my morning livelihood.

It all comes down to the french press. The ultimate coffee experience.

Every morning I get to enjoy a cup of coffee darker than the monster in your closet's closet.



As I sit with the sun rising higher into the sky, slurping on my coffee, and writing to you, I can't help but be reminded of how blessed I am.

Coffee Master Mug- $10, Cannon digital camera- $400, Power Ranger backpack- $0.10, North Face backpack- $100, Ipod Nano- $200, Casio Boulder cell phone- $250, Leather Bound Journal- $30, Compaq laptop- $600.

My friend Josiah- $33.50

These are just things that are sitting on this table in front of me. I am rich.

I am rich in spirit too. God gave me a love that I'll never find elsewhere.

He gave me the gift of his Spirit too.

I am rich.

I got a friend, a cup of coffee, a sunrise, and a shower this morning.

Thank you Jesus.

She.

There are a few specific ways in which I am waiting for my wife.

I hesitate to say "future wife" because she exists today. She is my wife, whoever she is, but we just haven't been married yet.

Many people that I know are saving themselves for their honeymoon night, they are holding back and constantly choosing to say no over and over again so that when they say yes (to their one and only) it will mean so much more. A much better gift to give. An exclusive gift.

I am all on board with this, however, I want to take a more proactive approach for my wife, because she is the most amazing woman of God that you'll ever meet. She is special.

Every time I find a penny on the ground it's almost as if she is tossing bread crumbs for me to find. I collect these crumbs and keep them in a jar; and when my hand lets the pennies drop, I pray specifically and intently for my wife. I've prayed for her thousands of times.

Every time I have loose silver change in my pocket, I save. I do not spend change. Ever. If the cost of my coffee is 2.01 then I break three dollars and take home 99 cents for my -you guessed it- honeymoon fund. I pray for Her. With every coin that passes through my hand it is collected and saved -even cherished.

I'm writing her letters. I will be post stamping these and saving them for her.

And... at the risk of sounding obsessive... (all this is from a healthy heart)

I may or may not have started saving for an engagement ring.

Like I said, She is just that special.

There are parts of my personality and identity that I hold back when I interact with single girls my age. I am very protective of hearts. Yours and mine. In fact, I have never dated.

Protective.

Some day though, my wife is going to want to know who I really am. She will get past the surface. She will be given parts of my life that are not given loosely, and she will find out the full extent that I am preparing for her.

Potent

The weather is perfect.

The wind dances on treetops, very much like a game of hopscotch.

The sun smiles on my skin, ideal for short sleeves and pants.

The clouds are bouncing, but somehow ever so still.

Ever so happy.

Every breath has a heightened effect beyond the last.

Every word spoken today is crisp and unmistakable.

Every aspect of reality today, to me, in a word, seems:

Potent.

Potency has a connotation of directed power.

Purposeful.

Purpose-filled I enjoy my Thursday.

Thank you Jesus... I mean that...

Thanks.

Ceasing Faith

As an unsuspecting driver, I turned the corner past the highway patrolman.

I made too much eye contact. I am convinced.

So a few "thank you officer"s and two tickets later I drove home in my beautiful car... Faith.

She has been so good to me over these past few years; but due to four "fix-it tickets" she will need to be taken to the scrap metal grave yard.

All cars don't go to heaven.

So here's an ode to Faith. My ceasing Faith:

Bought at 3,200 dollars with 212k miles we began our journey together two and a half years ago.

Hit by a drunk driver, we (my parents and I) received 2,200 dollars for the damage.

So they gave me her for free.

Hit by drunk driver number two, I received 1,600 dollars and continued to drive my paid-off beater.

Some of you know her as the "Bandaid Car" or the "tic tac toe board".

The 1,600 dollars that came from my "uninsured motorist" I saved specifically to make a down payment on my next car.

Well now that Faith's time is up I randomly started checking Craigs list for cars.

God. He likes to give me things.

So I stumbled on this Blue 1993 Toyota Camry. I have paid the adoption price and he is mine.

Obadiah is his name.

He has 50k miles less than Faith did and has never been hit by a single drunk driver!

The entire cost of my new buddy was less than the money that i saved from the last accident. No down payment here, just paid cash.

Ode to Obadiah.

A piece of my heart

I want to let you in on a secret. A small part of the way I choose to live my life.

It's simple really.

I am dying. You may already have known this.

Because I am dying, I don't have time for certain things. Time IS limited.

I don't have time for negativity. I don't have time to focus on people's problems.

I don't have time to focus on the Church's problems.

I want to live a lifestyle of humility and love.

I do have time to learn. I can learn from anyone.

Every church and community has something to offer.

I want you to know that I value you. I love you.

I value your community. I love your community.

You have something to offer the world. You have something to offer God.

I don't have time to focus on your problems. 

You could ask me and I will tell you why I think you are great. 

You have Glory to offer God.

You have love to offer the world.

The Signature of Jesus

""The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very act of existence is an act of rebellion." There is nothing more maddening to the world than a free man or woman in Christ Jesus. People must not look to the church to reinforce the values of their culture, or to dust off on Sunday morning the idols they have been living by during the week.

The early church was built on small groups of people who came together to support one another in a whole new way of life. These primitive communities were visable evidence of an alternative to the status quo of their culture. Today we need small bands of people who take the gospel at face value, who realize God is doing, and who are living proof of being in the world but not of the world. These "base" communities or neighborhood churches should be small enough for intimacy, kindred enough enough for acceptance, and gentle enough for criticism. Gathered in the name of Jesus, the community empowers us to incarnate in our lives what we believe in our hearts and proclaim with our lips."

-Brennan Manning The signature of Jesus

A silent Satan, A shouting God

I think our perceptions of God's voice (generally speaking of course) are due to a volume receptor in our brains that is hovering ever so slightly above mute.

Let me restate.

I think we have this backwards idea of interactions with God and antiGod in our day to day lives.

We are so quick to notice evil and so slow to notice God.

I see God yelling, not whispering. We just take his glory for less than it is, and for good reason: there is an Evil that is covertly distracting us.

Distraction is Satans largest tool in battling the people of God.

Money, clothes, sex, appearances, cars, houses, sports, video games, movies, etc... the "normal" stuff.

A different reallity is proposed. A new normal.

What about creation? What about the wind and the stars? The sky and the trees? The flowers and the bees? A human face? A puppy face? These are normal, these are glory, these show off God himself. These represent a master artist. These are normal. God wants to show us his glory, it's all around me. Look! God is not silent. We are not listening for the right voice.

Satan is quiet. He is lurking. He is waiting. He is stealthily distracting. Without being noticed he turns our eyes to lusting, our hearts to greed, our emotions to depression...

and we are lost because we think God is being silent

No.

He's screaming out goodness and glory to you.

He gives and gives.

He is good.

He is constant.

God's love never fails.

Watch the sunset tonight. Feel the breeze. Talk to God. Be still. Listen.

Kendall

Violinist.

The music was creating space for worshiping God last night. The Holy Ghost was moving powerfully.

Amidst the full sound of a large and well practiced band was a distinctive, beautiful sound. A violinist. The melody and passion were mixing together from her instrument and in turn blessing the people in the room.

As she drew her bow across the strings with masterful skill I began to tear up, God began to speak. He showed me how beautiful the sound was to him. He told me how much he was blessed by her music. This woman of God was stunningly beautiful; and the praise that came from her heart through her violin was breathtaking.

She looked to be about eighty-five.

The two electric guitars, full drum set, bassist, keys, and the vocalists had begun building the sound. Louder and louder came the praise to God. More energy.

The violinist fell into God's arms and played with the passion and vigor of someone a quarter of her age. Quick and sharp arm movements with agile fingers created a melody that brought memories to life.

Her music invoked memories from long ago in me.

Here's the thing though: They weren't my memories. They were hers. I just got to see them.

I saw a beautiful Woman, young and graceful laying in a meadow thanking God for his love. The violinist was laughing with joy at her Father who loved her so much.

As the melody changed to a somber key filled with minors, I saw her tears running down her cheeks while she stood on a hill and asked God why the pain was so prevailing.

Again the music changed to harmony that was delightfully agreeing with the larger band. The sound was beautiful and inspiring. I saw the men in her past finding such inspiration in this violinist. Her beauty extended far beyond the surface and her freedom was contagious to these men. They would fight for her. They would protect her.

Her open worship and God's blessing together let me see into her life and my tears of joy are the only expression worthy of the encounter.

Kendall

Fresh.

At my workplace we had this huge launch of a new coffee a few months ago. The pikes place blend. In all its majesty it created a wake that had a need for... shirts. Shirts advertising a coffee blend. One of the designs states simply: BOLD. The other states: FRESH. I have a friend who, to this day, loves to wear her FRESH every shift possible.

That has nothing to do with my day.

Today is Fresh and new. I breathe in this mountain air and I feel God give me something new. He is doing something new. I have seen the stars for the first time tonight in a couple months. Thank God for fresh air down here.

Our speaker is very passionate about what he has brought to camp this year. He is speaking on the fullness of Thriving in life. Living in the fullness of God.

I am living in the midst of God's love and this week is quickly becoming a staging time for my year. My year will be extraordinary.

Today is an incredible day. Enjoy a flower for me.

Rich. In the lap of luxury.

I am rich. I live in the lap of luxury.

The luxury of love.

Love everlasting. Love that is unconditional.

It's my purpose in life.

It is God's purpose for me. Just to simply be loved.

God has family, he has always had family. He knows how to love. He IS love. That is where we come in. We were created to be loved.

Today that is all I'm going to do. I will be loved. Today I look for more ways that He shows love. Today I enjoy Him. Simply enjoy my Abba. It is my highest calling and purpose. It is where the rubber meets the road.

I must live out of the center of God's love.

Kendall

There's a storm Brewing.

This has nothing to do with coffee.

I have nothing to do with coffee.

God is speaking.

...Two truths and a lie...

My Abba, and friend is becoming my lover. He is speaking daily. He is loving me. God is caring for me. Daddy is leading me. My heart has been resting. Breathing.

If i could describe the stage or season or period (whatever you want to call it) that I'm in right now, it could come down to one word: receptive

I am choosing to receive what God wants to give me daily; and that is no small care package.

I'm seeing him in the sunrises. In the sunsets. I am enjoying his beauty in the mountains.

He is constantly blessing me with gifts of scenario.

Let me explain.

I'll find myself in a forest. I find a spot. A perfect spot. It fits my body when I lay in this spot. The view is unmatched and unprecedented. The temperature of this spot is perfect. The sounds are inviting. The smells are soothing... and nobody gets to be in this scenario but me. God will give it to me like he has given some of my friends literal diamonds.

Then i am energized. I go out from the place of rest ready to function. Ready to bring heaven to earth.

Then i find another spot. A gift.

It's like my daddy has been just giving me these items, scenarios, feelings, just to support me and love me. Like a father would.

But there's change as of late.

These are becoming like my lover is giving, out of love, expecting nothing. My lover gives me a gift that takes my breath away, like an engagement ring might. My lover whispers things in my ear just to make me laugh or smile, but most of all just to be loved.

It makes me love Him back better.

Now the wind up... the coming storm... the result of the gifts...

I have had 3 separa... no... 4 separate occasions in the last two months when God has given other people specific things to tell me. All four have hit home perfectly. All I can do is listen, smile, and thank my Lover, my Daddy, my Friend.

Change... the first person tells me they are feeling major change in my near future.
Transition... the second person tells me that God says he is preparing me for a major identity fulfillment.
Morphing... the third person tells me that God is saying I am going to be triggered, set off, fired, set on fire... the result is a dead sprint for the finish line.

The fourth was a vision. A vision that i wont share with you but i will tell you what God told me through it. The person telling me this vision had zero idea what it was about but that's because it was for me not her.

It hit home today. It described a previous me. Not a bad me, not a lesser me, but a previous me. The stage/season/period that I have been in lately all put into a single verb. Out of this comes another me. A transformation.

God is brewing something in me. I can feel it. I can't identify it.

There was a storm today. A beautiful, awesome, powerful storm. This storm was passionate.

I can recognize a passion being placed in me. A passion for something that I haven't been passionate about before.

This may sound silly, but I don't know what it is, I just know that I am passionate about it.

Kendall

All creation is longing

The air outside can be described as coastal. I can feel a tinge of moisture in the air and there is a steady breeze. I love moments like this. I love moments when I feel like I can see the face and the heart of God in the conditions around me.

I see the turmoil of God's heart in the upside down landscape of the clouds.

I feel the peace of God's heart in the breeze across my patio.

I hear the tenderness and compassion of God's heart in the distant chirp of the birds.

I understand the weightiness of God's presence in the complete still moments.

I smell the fresh mercy and redemption of God's grace in the wet grass.

I am absorbed by the warmth of God's love and attention as I drink my hot tea.

I see the captivating vulnerability of God's heart as I watch my beagle rest.

I can just barely grasp the fullness of Gods strength and majesty as I look deep into the mountains.

These are the moments that energize me. The moments where God gives me a fresh breath and a new outlook; refined purpose and heightened joy. I live for the moments where God shows up in his creation. All creation is longing to be restored. God did not create an imperfect world. Satan perverted a masterpiece. All creation is longing to be restored. I am longing to be restored.

God restore me. God I want more of you. More of you God. Your restoration.

That's the papa I know and love.

Kendall

All-Consuming

Beauty surrounds me, captivates me, encourages me, embraces me. Beauty is ingrained into my entire life. Throughout the day it wakes me, saves me, loves me.

Nature is beautiful. People are beautiful. Abba is beautiful.

God gives to us. He gives to us. He keeps on giving. I recieve what he has to give.

I can look at people, I mean really look, and see such an amazing beauty that has been given; and there is no explanation for this but extreme and all-powerful love.

What love it is that has crafted the smile! What love it is that makes eyes miles deep! What love it is that grants a nose to smell! Ears for hearing! Touch for feeling.

What love it is that has crafted our capacity for love. God knew what he was doing when he gave me the ability to love you. I love you.

Today I went on a bike ride at sunrise. I can't believe it comes up every morning. Seriously! Every single day.

There aren't powerful enough words for that experience. You need to hear the slow intermitent chrip of a few birds, you need to smell the clean, slightly damp air, you need to see a fading dark, a breaking of light, you need to touch the chill of the atmosphere around you.

I can almost touch a sunrise. What a gift of God.

Kendall

The Sounds of Left

I wrote this about a month and a half ago while in Seattle. It takes me back and is very real in my mind.

"I laid there on my back feeling an all consuming hug from the mixture of sunny warmth and a slight breeze to keep it fresh. I was looking into the sky, partly blue, partly white, partly grey, but in all parts the sight was dramatic. I just had to reallize what I was looking at. Majesty. That's what I was looking at. As I sat up, I looked out at sea, It was so easy to let my mind charge into the vastness of the view. Mile after mile I could let my thoughts travel over endless waves, further, and further out at sea... but stop. The soft turf that I'm sitting on brings me back to the reallity of my immediate surroundings. I listened left. Yes the direction left, also in this case south (meaning I am facing west), I could hear the sounds of the fish market yelling. I could imaging the hustle bustle of large men throwing fish back and forth as well as small men playing guitar and violin for tips. I smelled left. Fish, clam, oyster, coffee, the smells of left. I looked to my right. I looked right and up. Way up, higher, higher, neck cramp, higher, the sky scraper was filled with restaurants, offices, retail stores, and people. I knew what was behind me. A city stacked on top of a city, on top of a city, etc. The square footage of the ground seemingly powerless against the growth of the city. If they can't build out, they build up. I sipped on my hot chocolate (yes, from the first Starbucks ever) and let the taste filled my pallet. Coacoa from accross the world, milk from cows in Cali, a coffee shop experience in a travel sized cup. It warmed me from the inside out. Warmth of sun, smell of fish, sounds of left, sight of waves -beyond waves-, hot chocolate working outward, cranes building behind me. Seattle, WA. There I was sandwiched between Pikes place market and the pier.

Tell me if those moments aren't worth a million dollars. I mean it, a million. I'm rich! I am filthy rich. I have a get rich quick scheme, change my mindset. Daily, hourly, on the minute. I think in terms of millions. I have a million dollar moment right now. I'm sitting on a leather chair in a coffee shop that protects me from the hail and the cold. A fire place burns in my front. Artwork surrounds me, and music serenades me. Coffee energizes me and a power outlet energizes my computer."

Climactic Coffee

A coffee bean has a past. It has a present; and it has a future.

There is a tree. The air around the tree is thin. The tree stands tall and strong.

There is a star. The star is hot. The star warms the air around the tree.

There is water. It collects together to make clouds. The clouds rain on the tree.

The tree produces a cherry. A farmer picks the cherry. He soaks the cherry. The outer layer comes off. A green bean is left.

There is a man. He inspects the bean. He pays the farmer for his bean. He takes the bean overseas. He puts the bean in a roasting oven.

The roasting oven produces a bean ready to sell. A man takes the bean out of the roaster and puts it into a bag. He sends it to a shop.

There is a barista. The barista opens the bag and puts the bean in a grinder. The barista collects the ground bean and mixes it with hot water.

You buy the hot water and the bean.

Break. Change of subject.

When you look into the eye of a person it is intense. There is a tension created because you aren't just looking at an eyeball. You are staring into something larger than can fit in the space allowed. You are looking into a production of thought and emotion.

Same with a camera.

When you stare at the lense of a camera there is more going on than appears. There is a weightiness to the direct contact with a working lense because you know that the camera will capture a moment. It will continue to create thoughts and emotions beyond the moment.

There is a tension when you look into an eye; when you look into a lense.

Break. Go back.

The coffee bean.

There is a tension created when I stare into the cup. I look into the coffee. I smell the coffee, I taste the coffee. I feel the coffee, I see the coffee. I hear the slurp. I hear the people around me. I hear the music playing.

There is more going on than it seems. There is a farmer behind my cup. There was a master roaster that chose the roast. There was warm sunlight shining on the hill. There was a tree on the hill.

My cup of coffee has been, is currently, and will be full of thought and emotion. A web of reallity coming to a climax. The climax created a moment, a willingness, a feeling enough to write about the coffee bean.

There is more going on than it seems. There is a glory that we refuse to glorify.

Let me tell you.

Let me tell you about Joseph.

Joseph is my friend. Joseph is a friend of God.

Joseph knows his scripture. Joseph is working on his own translation of the bible.

Joseph is working on his masters thesis. Joseph is a professor at Simpson University.

Let me tell you about Joseph.

He likes to collect bottles. He enjoys honey.

He is writing a screenplay for broadway. He is writing me in.

He has been to war. He has been across the country.

Let me tell you about Joseph.

Joseph wears a hat, and has a nice windbreaker.

I tell you about Joseph because you probably wont ever get to know him, but I think he is important. He is amazing because God thinks he is amazing. A man so amazing as to attract the love of the Almighty deserves to be talked about.

Joseph is loved by God; and that is why he is worth your time. And mine.

Climbing Clyde

Clyde was a climber. He climbed all sorts of things.

Clyde climbed rock walls to feel the breeze. Clyde climbed buildings and trees.

Clyde never said nope. Clyde never lost hope.

If he couldn't make it to the top, he would climb something else, but he always tried. Yes he did, Clyde.

All sorts of people didn't understand Clyde. They would say things like "Get your head out of the clouds" or "You might hurt yourself Clyde".

But Clyde didn't understand all sorts of people. He liked the clouds. He hurt himself countless times.

Clyde thought those times made him smarter.

He would learn when he would fall, to try things a different way. He would appreciate the clouds and the things that he saw when he climbed stuff.

One day someone drove by Clyde while he was walking. The black window of a blacker car started to roll down; he payed attention because he liked to learn about things that he didn't know.

The car was mysterious, as was the Man inside. The Man had dark glasses on. Clyde couldn't see his eyes. When the Man started speaking, Clyde listened.

Clyde listened to stories about beautiful homes, and fancy cars. Clyde listened to stories about comfortable shoes. Clyde listened to stories about neat gadgets; and how to get the money to have them for himself.

Clyde put down the rope that he climbed stuff with. He got a job. He gave his bike to Luke and got a car. He got a better job and picked up more shifts. Then he got a computer. Clyde had climbed rope for years, that was hard. So Clyde climbed latters, that was easy. Clyde bought nice shoes, and then he got some dark glasses.

Clyde wanted a bigger house so he put in some overtime.

He loved to grill steak and watch his big T.V. in the evenings.

One day Clyde saw Luke riding a bike to the top of a mountain.

Clyde wondered why Luke always had his head in the clouds. So Clyde decided to tell Luke how to get an air conditioned home.

Luke doesn't understand people like Clyde.

Luke likes enjoying all day, every day.

Days like Today.

I live for days like today.

It was sunny, warm, a slight breeze, I was surrounded by mountains, and I had nothing to do, with alot to think about.

"Conditions are perfect. It's Wednesday, there's nothing good on TV... conditions are perfect."

I went to coffee shops. I talked to friends, I watched the mountains, I talked to Jesus. I drank coffee and enjoyed the sunshine.

End of day. How amazing.

Kendall

A dark day.

The day is dark.

The mood Somber. The mood angry. The mood unsettled. The mood storming. The mood raging.

The air is crisp. The sun is shining. God's glory is pouring. The trees are blooming. The grass is green. The moutains are majestic. The flowers are precious. The people are passing.

Some people: A dark day. Some: A beautiful day.

Mine: Caught in between. My heart bouncing to and fro. Warfare is raging. My soul is longing. I am crying. I am loving. I am enjoying. I am disturbed. I am lifted. I am drug down. I am crying out for my God. My dad. My friend. My love. I am crying out for my God. My dad. My friend, my love. My friend, my love. My love. Love.

Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast. It is not self seeking.

Love gives. Love does not take.

God loves. God refreshes.

You oh God are my strength. I am strong. You oh God are my strength. I cannot fail. You oh God are mine. I am yours.

It is a thorn in the flesh. Or is it a limp from my hip? What is the pain that fights my soul. What is the enemy that hinders?

My God wins. The enemy has been defeated. Death couldn't hold him down. We are victorious. We are given peace. My peace is from God. It transcends all understanding.

My heart is resting. I need a miracle. I don't need a miracle. I need to fight. I need to stand. I am given strength. I don't stand alone.

I want a miracle. God wants my heart. My undivided heart. I must undivide it.

God wants my focus. I must focus. I must charge.

God draw me in closer to you. Draw me into your presence. You are good. All I need is you Lord. It's you Lord. All I need is you. You hold the universe. You hold my heart. You love my heart. I give you my heart. My heart is a sanctuary for your love. Sanctify it. Bless my heart God. Dad. Friend. Pave my path God. Dad. Friend.

-Kendall

-Kendall

An introduction

Let me introduce you to a couple of my friends:
Wes and Blue Feather.

Wes has studied God's word diligently for years. Years spent in prison.
He knows Jesus' love and he knows Jesus is coming back.
Wes lives a life chasing after God.

He has a drinking problem. He will tell you that up front. He is trying to quit alcohol, weed, and cigarettes so that he can treat the temple of God better. He is quite the evangelist and also has the spiritual gift of profecy. We met over burgers in downtown Redding.

Blue Feather is from the indian tribe of Cri. He is an amazing musician. He spent years of his life touring with a band playing jazz harmonica. He also plays guitar, bass, Indian flute, and rythym instruments.

Blue Feather drank vodca the entire time that we were hanging out. Which is really cool. Because he replaced crystal meth (an addiction of 20 years) with alcohol. He's working on weening off.

He camps out toward wiskey town and has a nine man tent. He collects bottles and cans every day to get money for food. He never spends money on alcohol. His friends just share. He has amazing friends. Wes offered him a place to stay over the next week or so because he has a motel right now. Wes also began to tell Blue Feather about Jesus.

It happened over burgers.

I saw Jesus over burgers in downtown Redding.

Kendall

A tired tire

Today I was eating at the park.
A tire was in the river. It was attached to an axle.

She said "Is that a rock or a tire in the water?"
It was a tire... i already stated that...

I says "I wonder why they don't take it out"

She said "Why don't you?"

I says "Good point. I'll try."

So I rolled up my jeans, took off my shoes and socks and proceded to timidly enter the icy water. I waded over to the tire, bent down and couldn't budge the thing half an inch.

Zero movement.

But I'm glad I tried. That tire is ugly, and I'm sure plenty of people have walked by and wondered "why don't they take that tire out?".

But I tried. Action behind the words. A first step into my dreams.

Every idea starts somewhere. Every dream starts small. Every goal has prerequisites.

The tire didn't budge, but I threw my entire self into it. I tried.

Kendall

Hit the ground walking?

I just got back from Seattle eight days ago.
I've got dreams. I've got friends with dreams.
I've got family. I've got Jesus.

But I get tired of things preventing a full out sprint for the kingdom of God.

Friends who don't want to move as fast as I do.
People that have very little passion to live out of.
Money.
Health insurance.
Job.
Car.
Family.
These things that are a part of daily life that can be so destructive to God's design.

They can be very constructive too, but I am tired of being in a culture so bent on things. My things are your things. If you are my brother or sister: how can I help?

Do you need a car to borrow for the weekend? I have one. Do you need a pound of coffee? I get one every week for free. Do you need some clothes to borrow. I can't wear em all today. Do you need to get some homework done? I'll lend you my laptop. Do you need help moving? I have time on Saturday mornings? Do you want to talk Jesus? I'll go to lunch. Or we can walk downtown together.

God has been growing in me a heart for downtown Redding. We are called to serve the poor and the homeless. The tired and the hungry. I want to live a life chasing after God that doesn't involve compromises. Sometimes it feels like we "trade" God this chunk of time, as long as "I get to watch American Idol" or as long as "you keep providing" or as long as "everything is peachy".

I mean that's what Jesus tells us right? Serve me "as long as everything in life is 'good'". Nope.

Anyways, I'd like to move in with a few guys and begin to live out of community, instead of living my life and joining in community on Sundays.

God doesn't call us to compromise. We are his. We are loved. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. We are Kings. We are Queens. We are blessed.

We are blessed.
We are blessings?
I want to be.

Kendall