Hey all, thanks for reading; I like you.
I'm moving on to try my hand at writing with more excellence at kendallbachman.wordpress.com
My hope is to no longer just write out of my impulse, but to write, edit, write, edit, and repeat.
Deal.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Fall on me
Lord fall on me,
Lord fall on me...
Let your presence like a cloud,
come and fill this house...
Here I am,
Designed for love,
All I want is you,
And I can never get enough...
All that I am,
All that can be,
I place before you,
Here Im sitting at your feet!
Im sitting at your feet!
So come,
and teach.
Teach me your language,
whisper your life,
show me your heart,
So the bride may be your wife...
All I ask is for more of you,
All I give is all I can.
Lord come.
Lord fall on me...
Let your presence like a cloud,
come and fill this house...
Here I am,
Designed for love,
All I want is you,
And I can never get enough...
All that I am,
All that can be,
I place before you,
Here Im sitting at your feet!
Im sitting at your feet!
So come,
and teach.
Teach me your language,
whisper your life,
show me your heart,
So the bride may be your wife...
All I ask is for more of you,
All I give is all I can.
Lord come.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Crossroads
I approach a crossroads in my life; and it's doorway seems unavoidable.
As I step outside myself and look at my life, in a seemingly third-person perspective, I cannot help but notice that I must soon decide.
In the one hand I have the option of living a great and fantastic life.
In the other hand I have the opportunity to live a life full of God and surpassing this simple "great".
I'm not going to lie, there isnt a bad option.
but,
Hear my heart. I want to walk where very few have walked. I want to live hand-in-hand with the Almighty. I want His Presence to be my greatest concern. I want His breath and heartbeat to beat to the same rhythm as my own.
This entails radical obedience and extreme risk.
Yet it is the safest place I can possibly live.
If I want to live a simply "fantastic and great" life I might become a teacher. Or I might become a pastor. I might have an occupation and a family. I would see The Lord move among people, and I would draw closer to Him. I might have a car and a payment, and I might clock in or punch in for forty hours a week. Wife, kids, love, house, dog, the whole shibang.
All of those are great things that I love.
However,
This life of absolute yielded-ness is shrowded in mystery. I dont feel like there are obvious examples or paths to use as a directional map. I think it is an extremely rare life.
now- lets hear me right- Im not talking about your life, Im talking about mine. So before you get all up in arms about how "Kendall doesnt think Im following God"... thats not what Im talking about.
I am desiring 100% obedience; and I have no single idea of what that looks like. Maybe it doesnt change much on the outside... I dont know... I just know that there is more of God and I must uncover it. I must see His face more.
end.
As I step outside myself and look at my life, in a seemingly third-person perspective, I cannot help but notice that I must soon decide.
In the one hand I have the option of living a great and fantastic life.
In the other hand I have the opportunity to live a life full of God and surpassing this simple "great".
I'm not going to lie, there isnt a bad option.
but,
Hear my heart. I want to walk where very few have walked. I want to live hand-in-hand with the Almighty. I want His Presence to be my greatest concern. I want His breath and heartbeat to beat to the same rhythm as my own.
This entails radical obedience and extreme risk.
Yet it is the safest place I can possibly live.
If I want to live a simply "fantastic and great" life I might become a teacher. Or I might become a pastor. I might have an occupation and a family. I would see The Lord move among people, and I would draw closer to Him. I might have a car and a payment, and I might clock in or punch in for forty hours a week. Wife, kids, love, house, dog, the whole shibang.
All of those are great things that I love.
However,
This life of absolute yielded-ness is shrowded in mystery. I dont feel like there are obvious examples or paths to use as a directional map. I think it is an extremely rare life.
now- lets hear me right- Im not talking about your life, Im talking about mine. So before you get all up in arms about how "Kendall doesnt think Im following God"... thats not what Im talking about.
I am desiring 100% obedience; and I have no single idea of what that looks like. Maybe it doesnt change much on the outside... I dont know... I just know that there is more of God and I must uncover it. I must see His face more.
end.
Friday, January 1, 2010
2009-2010
The minutes have ushered in a new year; and a new season.
Two thousand ten will be a year for love. Families will bond together and friends will come closer.
Two thousand ten will be about the One Thing.
Him.
We seek first the kingdom of God. We search out it's depths; we ask for greater measure of power and presence.
Lord... Father... Friend... come and walk with me. Reveal your face. Speak your words of life.
Please,
Lead.
Lead me into your kingdom's fullness.
May your kingdom come, may your will be done, here, now, let my life look like heaven.
Two thousand ten will be a year for love. Families will bond together and friends will come closer.
Two thousand ten will be about the One Thing.
Him.
We seek first the kingdom of God. We search out it's depths; we ask for greater measure of power and presence.
Lord... Father... Friend... come and walk with me. Reveal your face. Speak your words of life.
Please,
Lead.
Lead me into your kingdom's fullness.
May your kingdom come, may your will be done, here, now, let my life look like heaven.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Process
“There isn’t a path; but there is a way”- John Eldridge
It isn’t the spiritual tight-rope journey that Jesus has called us to. That was the way of the Pharisees. However there is a direction, a way, that God is pulling us in. The cosmic “pointing arrow” in which we are always somehow drawing closer to the Father and maturing in our spirits. Always.
God is a God of process. He is in it for the long haul. When He made the oak tree, He started with an acorn. When He wanted a leader, He let Moses practice on literal sheep for decades. When the flood wiped out civilization, He decided to repopulate the world with a handful of people, and a nine month gestation period at a time… then fifteen years of growing up… then we can continue the cycle…
He loves process.
Here’s the problem: Americans love product. When we need to pay for a meal we whip out the visa card, which happens to be attached to an account that we filled up with “direct deposit”. When grandma needs someone to visit, we struggle over the effort because it would mean fifteen minutes of driving to get to her house… fifteen minutes! When we need to tell someone about the new truck that we bought, we send out fifteen instant text messages in a minute and a half flat. A senior pastor might hire a twenty-two year old youth pastor because of his four year degree instead of bringing on the dad of four who has eighteen years of youth experience. Our idea of “trained professional” is someone who went to school for a handful of years.
Some of us are even guilty of eating “instant” cup of noodles.
Efficiency is our game; if it looks like there’s an investment of time in something, our commitment issues start flying to the surface.
But… He loves process.
I am guilty of having a very low value for time oriented growth. I have found myself of being the one who keeps telling God that as soon as I have the most amazing passion for praying, I’ll start to intercede more. Or as soon as He releases the Holy Spirit to open up the Heavens and descend upon me (in plain sight of everyone of course) then I’ll really lay down my life for Him. In fact… as soon as He tells me that from this moment on every person that I pray for will be healed, I will start praying for the sick and dying around me.
So we live our lives in the land of “as soon as”; and we never get around to the next step towards Him.
Sometimes we struggle with guilt over how little of His word we actually have a grasp on, or we are so sorrowed that we cant live up to Jesus’ perfection…
When we dwell on Jesus as a perfect man who was empowered by the Holy Spirit and who was fed off of every word that proceeded from the Father’s mouth, there are two mindsets that are revealed.
1. I can never get it all right, I struggle with hearing the Father’s voice, the power of the Spirit rarely seems to manifest in my life.
2. What an amazing example He showed us! I might not be there yet, but tomorrow is a new day. I’m going to see more Holy Spirit, and Hear more of the Father’s words. Watch out world… because He has gone before me!
He has provided a way, not a tight rope path, but a direction. Holy Spirit loves to take us there. He just knows it will take time. So it’s time… to agree with Him, and to learn to love process.
I desire to be a man after God’s heart; and I desire to be a different man in six months than I am now. I want it to be said of me that I am a masterful learner, and a teachable man. There is a posture that I will take on for the rest of my life; and it will allow me to learn from every day, every person, every breath, every flower, every art piece, and every word out of the mouth of God.
Tomorrow, I wont be Jesus.
In a week, I’ll be closer.
In a month, I’ll be different.
In a year, I’ll be new,
In a decade, I’ll be so much further.
And in a lifetime, I’ll be a novice; not by the worlds standards, but by choice.
Always teachable, always learning.
And all of Heaven and Hell will know my name.
“There isn’t a path; but there is a way.” John Eldridge
It isn’t the spiritual tight-rope journey that Jesus has called us to. That was the way of the Pharisees. However there is a direction, a way, that God is pulling us in. The cosmic “pointing arrow” in which we are always somehow drawing closer to the Father and maturing in our spirits. Always.
God is a God of process. He is in it for the long haul. When He made the oak tree, He started with an acorn. When He wanted a leader, He let Moses practice on literal sheep for decades. When the flood wiped out civilization, He decided to repopulate the world with a handful of people, and a nine month gestation period at a time… then fifteen years of growing up… then we can continue the cycle…
He loves process.
Here’s the problem: Americans love product. When we need to pay for a meal we whip out the visa card, which happens to be attached to an account that we filled up with “direct deposit”. When grandma needs someone to visit, we struggle over the effort because it would mean fifteen minutes of driving to get to her house… fifteen minutes! When we need to tell someone about the new truck that we bought, we send out fifteen instant text messages in a minute and a half flat. A senior pastor might hire a twenty-two year old youth pastor because of his four year degree instead of bringing on the dad of four who has eighteen years of youth experience. Our idea of “trained professional” is someone who went to school for a handful of years.
Some of us are even guilty of eating “instant” cup of noodles.
Efficiency is our game; if it looks like there’s an investment of time in something, our commitment issues start flying to the surface.
But… He loves process.
I am guilty of having a very low value for time oriented growth. I have found myself of being the one who keeps telling God that as soon as I have the most amazing passion for praying, I’ll start to intercede more. Or as soon as He releases the Holy Spirit to open up the Heavens and descend upon me (in plain sight of everyone of course) then I’ll really lay down my life for Him. In fact… as soon as He tells me that from this moment on every person that I pray for will be healed, I will start praying for the sick and dying around me.
So we live our lives in the land of “as soon as”; and we never get around to the next step towards Him.
Sometimes we struggle with guilt over how little of His word we actually have a grasp on, or we are so sorrowed that we cant live up to Jesus’ perfection…
When we dwell on Jesus as a perfect man who was empowered by the Holy Spirit and who was fed off of every word that proceeded from the Father’s mouth, there are two mindsets that are revealed.
1. I can never get it all right, I struggle with hearing the Father’s voice, the power of the Spirit rarely seems to manifest in my life.
2. What an amazing example He showed us! I might not be there yet, but tomorrow is a new day. I’m going to see more Holy Spirit, and Hear more of the Father’s words. Watch out world… because He has gone before me!
He has provided a way, not a tight rope path, but a direction. Holy Spirit loves to take us there. He just knows it will take time. So it’s time… to agree with Him, and to learn to love process.
I desire to be a man after God’s heart; and I desire to be a different man in six months than I am now. I want it to be said of me that I am a masterful learner, and a teachable man. There is a posture that I will take on for the rest of my life; and it will allow me to learn from every day, every person, every breath, every flower, every art piece, and every word out of the mouth of God.
Tomorrow, I wont be Jesus.
In a week, I’ll be closer.
In a month, I’ll be different.
In a year, I’ll be new,
In a decade, I’ll be so much further.
And in a lifetime, I’ll be a novice; not by the worlds standards, but by choice.
Always teachable, always learning.
And all of Heaven and Hell will know my name.
“There isn’t a path; but there is a way.” John Eldridge
Saturday, October 17, 2009
I am crying.
Let me issue a warning to those who have stumbled across this post: I intend to write from the deepest core of my person. These thoughts proceed out of the most spiritual, authentic, emotional, intellectual, and soulful parts of me.
Here is my soul's cry -cry being a word intended to evoke the thought of tears and screams, passion and love- to know Him.
Him who is above all, in all, and through all. Him who holds the universe; yet whispers to my most hidden depths. Him who knows everything about me, yet longs to know me.
Here is my soul's cry -cry being a word intended to evoke the thought of tears and screams, passion and love- to know Him.
Him who is above all, in all, and through all. Him who holds the universe; yet whispers to my most hidden depths. Him who knows everything about me, yet longs to know me.
Know. The Hebrew word for yada. It is intimacy and connection, it is spiritual and sexual, it is external and internal, it is the best word that the Hebrew language can come up with for the connection between a man and a woman who are deeply in love. Children are born out of yada... but we wont follow that rabbit trail for now.
I long to sing to Him and to talk with Him. I want to see every part of Him and to touch each piece of Him. I desire to be invaded by Him and to shine of Him. I feel like dancing for Him and dancing with Him.
He makes me more me than I have ever known. He is my creator, lover, and leader. My king.
He is eternal and He is beginning. He knows no beginning, for He Himself IS beginning. He will never cease.
I want Him. He IS MY DESIRE.
That is my souls deepest cry; and the more I enter into that cry, the closer I am brought to Him, the more I am aware of my
ABSOLUTE HUNGER
for this man named Jesus-the bread of life and the light of men.
Spirit-the power at work in the natural realm.
Father-the one who is in all, above all, and through all.
He is all I want. I will die if I dont have more of Him.
I feel like dying if I cannot know Him more.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Looking in all the Wrong Places
Oh the search for Yaweh
How we ought know
That all our looking
Is but ignoring our soul
We search the stars
And ill scour the seas
But Ill not find Him there
If I've not found Christ in me
He is here
Only inches deep
Within the hardest
Shell I've seen
To dismantle the old
Is a task among tasks
Naught but complete surrender
Is what my Lord asks
Take it all King of Glory
Strip flesh bare to bone
If that's what it will take
To finally be at home.
Let my own skin be home,
In it may your love be shown.
How we ought know
That all our looking
Is but ignoring our soul
We search the stars
And ill scour the seas
But Ill not find Him there
If I've not found Christ in me
He is here
Only inches deep
Within the hardest
Shell I've seen
To dismantle the old
Is a task among tasks
Naught but complete surrender
Is what my Lord asks
Take it all King of Glory
Strip flesh bare to bone
If that's what it will take
To finally be at home.
Let my own skin be home,
In it may your love be shown.
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